Watch Me!

Political Expediency...03

From The Outside....

This is my debut Thisday cartoon in January 2008 titled “From The Outside”. It was the cartoon that I used to announce the name my back page cartoons will go by.

Why the cartoon now?

A brother and colleague, Semoore Badejo posted the following question on his Facebook timeline a few days ago:”.....If you are offered a Ministerial appointment by President Goodluck Jonathan today, will you accept?  “It attracted over 50 comments - from the ridiculous and absurd to the clever and ingenious.

My own comment falls within the ambit of the ridiculous. I wrote: “Semoore, Yes, I will accept it, because as an armchair critic, I’ve always been on the outside of the system condemning the rubbish going on inside of it. But once inside, as a minister, (and since ministers don’t do any work) I will spend precious three months to collect hard evidence of the rubbish going on inside the system. I will go public with my findings and then, citing principle and honour, resign my appointment! That way, I’ll go on record as the first minister to resign honourably!!!

Here’s my debut Thisday cartoon in January 2008 titled “From The Outside”. It was the cartoon that I used to announce the name my back page cartoons will go by. It came to my mind as I was posting this comment.”

"Do Or Die" Politics....

Towards 2015 Elections: Rent-A-Crowd

What Are We Teaching Our Children?....05

When you hear an official statement like: “We condemn the nefarious/dastardly/barbaric act.... and we’re going to bring the perpetrators (of the dastardly act) to book” and you believe them, you are doing so at your own peril. It is better you resign yourself to your fate and start licking your wounds, because, frankly, “they DON’T GIVE A DAMN”!

Serving Godfather's Self-Interest

13 PDP govs reject deputies as successors

All the 13 outgoing governors of the Peoples Democratic Party have rejected their deputies as their successors, investigations by The PUNCH have revealed.

The governors are those of Abia (Theodore Orji), Akwa Ibom(Godswill Akpabio), Bauchi (Isa Yuguda), Benue (Gabriel Suswam ), Cross River (Liyel Imoke), Delta (Emmanuel Uduaghan) and Enugu (Sulivan Chime).

Others are Jigawa (Sule Lamido), Katsina (Ibrahim Shema), Kebbi (Usman Dakingari), Niger (Babangia Aliyu), Ebonyi (Martin Elechi) and Plateau (Jonah Jang).

-Punch, November 10, 2014

http://www.punchng.com/news/13-pdp-govs-reject-deputies-as-successors/

Why They'll Get Away With It

Jonathan Gets A Free Ride From 40m Car Owners

According to Coordinating Minister for the Economy and Minister of Finance, Dr. Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala, “the improvement in the economic situation of Nigerians based on concrete steps has led to a situation where about 40 million Nigerians are comfortable to have cars.”

Be Careful What You Wish For

What's The World Coming To?

Governance and Protocol...02

Governance and Protocol...01

If only They Knew What We Thought of Them

There’s no such thing as a free lunch. When a public office holder receives praises and accolades from an unexpected quarter for a performance that he himself knows to be lacklustre and uninspiring and undeserving of praises, he knows they are not being sincere, but he laps it up all the same.....and then waits for the bill! 

Number Crunching

It would not be too far-fetched to presume that Governors have an unwritten rule not to settle inherited debts during their tenures. They simply add a few noughts to it and pass it on to the next governor. Here’s how they go about it.

It is acceptable practice for the outgoing governor to make a lot of noise about the huge amount of cash he’s leaving in the treasury. However, in his handover note, he quietly and in small print, states what debt he was leaving, but not neglecting to print in bold, that the bulk of it was inherited from previous administrations.  In turn, the incoming governor mounts the rostrum and makes his own noise too about the huge amount of debt he is inheriting from the outgoing governor, but not before he has jacked it up significantly.

After the noisy quarrelling and wrangling in public, both parties agree to a ceasefire in secret at which they accept each other’s claims. After all, they are two of a kind. The incoming governor simply files the figures away until the end of his tenure when he too presents it to the incoming governor as inherited debt from previous administrations .....

The Morning After

Towards 2015 Elections: The Importance Of Political Rallies

We've all had occasions to repeat ourselves. Politicians repeat themselves for different reasons, for different effects. Some do, to emphasize a point...some do, for lack of what else to say....but here's another reason our politicians do it!

Towards 2015 Elections: Political Opportunism

Yet another cartoon on Public Affairs Analysts.....

When A Public Affairs Analyst Talks Like This On TV....

Once again, I’m on the case of the ubiquitous political or public affairs analysts /commentators or whatever else they call themselves.  Right now, they are strutting their stuff everywhere; on radio, TV and newspapers. I’m not surprised, because the 2015 general elections are around the corner and as hirelings go, they are available to do the bidding of the paymaster.

Towards 2015 Elections: The Gamble

Political Expediency...02

It's Just A PLANE Lie!

The “Plane” truth…..

The flavour of the month is the bizarre avowal of a suave man of the cloth that the tragic collapse of one of his buildings was caused by a plane that flew over it. While the rescue team and sympathisers bowed their heads in respect for the dead and the wounded, the man stood erect, his gaze skywards, looking to spot the offending plane to prove he was right. Of course the plane had long gone, but he stood transfixed with the hope of it coming back. He was on a different plane (level of thought) from everybody else’s, or if you like, he was on another PLANEt!

He must have believed in the superiority of the rationality of his own argument, because he kept his eyes riveted on the skies above his fiefdom, expecting a manifestation of his version of the event. But that didn’t come to pass. When nobody fell for his antics he resorted to intimidation and strong-arm tactics……

Why the sermon? A friend’s remark set it off. After reading this cartoon in the paper on Friday, he called and said in Yoruba, “Beni ti e ri! O ti le te’nu mo nkan ju!” (Typical! You don’t ever know when to let go!).“ I reminded him of how long it took the man in the eye of the storm to let go of his version of what happened to the building and how he tried to pull the wool over our eyes. Why should I let go? Why should anyone with conscience or a good sense of justice let go? Why should the family of the victims let go? Why should the authorities let go? Why should the public let go?

Why should I let go of my craft?  I hardly let go of any topic that allows me to use artistic license to explore or extend it. That’s my trademark!

Thy Country first

Nigeria is 54 today. Things haven’t really changed -not even my cartoons! Here’s an October 1 cartoon of mine published in the Guardian 29 years ago.  To bring it up to date, simply change 24+ to 53+ and 25 to 54. 

It's That Time Of The Year Again

"Things haven’t really changed, but I am more than confident that our tomorrow will be better than our yesterday and today. The caliber of distinguished Nigerians who made this year’s honours list is a testimony that Nigeria has got the human and material resources to excel tomorrow."

Let's Twist the truth Again

This cartoon was inspired by Chubby Checker's hit song: Let's Twist Again. The refrain bit, in particular:

"Who's that flyin' up there
Is it a bird? No
Is it a plane? No
Is it the twister? Yeah"

Act First, Think Later

One Flew Over The SCOAN'S Nest

"Like-I-Said-Before" TV...03

"Like-I-Said-Before" TV ....02

"Like-I-Said-Before" TV.....01

Have you noticed when Nigerians watch Local TV programmes, particularly current affairs and personality interview shows, they talk, make side comments about guests, make and take phone calls, play loud music in the background, dash in and out of the room and yet, after the programme, they are able to tell you what the discussants have said word-for-word! How?

You will find the answer in the cartoon above.

If The NFF Fire Was On Account Of The books....

Corrupt government officials have been making fire to cook books from time immemorial. Up until recently, fire was necessary to destroy evidence in order to frustrate police investigations. Why, because the police then were tough on crime and would go to the end of the earth to investigate and prosecute suspects.

However, the regime of impunity under which we live today has made it totally unnecessary for corrupt government officials to torch their accounts departments. Why bother burning books which the authorities have no interest in examining?

GAZA STRIPped

After a seven-week war between Israel and Hamas, both parties finally agreed to an open ended ceasefire last week Tuesday. Immediately after the announcement, Palestinians thronged the streets of Gaza to celebrate their “victory”, despite the fact that majority of the over 2,200 that got killed and over 11,000 wounded were Palestinians. Should they be celebrating a ceasefire that may not, in the final analysis translate to a certainty? 

"Original" Copycats

Here’s a cartoon I made five years ago in reaction to what I actually experienced. Since then, the imposture bit has occurred a few more times, the last time being a few days ago. It prompted me to change the faceless profile image in my facebook timeline to one of my portrait, with the hope that the move will discourage impostors from turning up at events claiming to be me. And I added in my timeline, “or maybe it will help my political adversaries to easily identify me or perhaps it may fuel another kind of racket. I don’t know. You can’t win, can you?”

Ex-Governor: "I'll Gladly Make The Same Mistakes Again!"

“I’d gladly offend again!”

I’ve been on the case of ex-governors lately. There are just too many of them out there who have been indicted or having allegations of corruption hanging over them that are behaving badly and getting away with it. They seem to be saying: “If I had to do it all over again, I wouldn’t change a thing!”

Remember Me When You Come Into Your Freedom - An Update

Obey-The-Wind TV

Obey-the-wind-TV

Those who grew up in Lagos in the 50s and 60s should remember a type of inferior fabric for trousers called “Obey the wind”  or “ota Marina “ (i.e, not Marina Quayside friendly).  As a young man, if you wore trousers that were not made of quality fabric like Terylene (Dacron) or pure 100% wool that could stand the test of time, you were challenged by your mates to show up in them in Marina Quayside “catwalk “. If your trousers billowed and fluttered excessively in the Marina breeze, then they were declared inferior and you along with it.

In the same 50s and 60s, you could count on the fingers of one hand how many families owned TV sets. In those days, the ceremony of sparking the TV to life every night is akin to igniting the Olympic torch several months before the event and relaying it over thousands of miles to hundreds of places around the world before ending up on the day of the ceremony at the cauldron where the final bearer uses the torch to start the flame in the arena. Yes, that was about how long you had to wait for the TV to warm up. That was the best technology could offer then.

Nowadays, with advanced technology, nobody has to go through that tortuous route to switch on the TV, …errr….except in Nigeria!  For instance, if you switch on the DSTV, you can go and make a cup of tea and come back and still wait a few minutes before the scanning comes to an end and you are allowed to watch TV. And if it rains or it is windy, you can go and do something else because DSTV is bound to hold services in abeyance until the rainstorm subsides. That’s what you get with obsolete technology. That’s what we are getting now. You make monthly payments for services that should be pay-as-you-go. Shame!

An Encounter With A Former Governor...02

Borderline Understanding Of Ebola

A similar cartoon of mine dealing specifically with the influx of illegal immigrants and smugglers through our borders was published in The Guardian, Tuesday, November 19, 1985, under the title: "Borderline Understanding... It was during the military rule of President Babangida. I will publish the cartoon here sometime.

Bring Back Our Pride

The cartoon above didn't appear in Thisday.

An Encounter With A Former Governor

The Enemy Within

Political Prostitution...02

See Political Prostitution ...01 

Going For Broke

Political Expediency

The PHCN Generation?

Nigeria: Instructions To American Visa Applicants

Damage Control

Living In Bondage

The Bigger The Loot, The Smoother The Landing!

Janus-Faced Politicians And The Rest Of Us