For The Sake Of Continuity?

Generally, Nigerian politicians and political office holders refer to themselves as “patriots” rendering “selfless services to their fatherland” as if the rest of us are traitors, idlers and freeloaders. When they go about pleading that the president be allowed to serve a second term, it is not lost on us that it is because they want to continue to serve in the administration of the president. They sure know which side their bread is buttered!

It's Flirting Time Again

Yes, you guessed right! The caption of this cartoon is adapted from the famous Ray Charles song: CRYING TIME. For effect, let me go further than the first line. Please, replace CRYIN’ with FLIRTING to see how it applies to the current/recurrent activities of our political players in our political landscape.

Oh, it's cryin’ time again, you're gonna leave me
I can see that far away look in your eyes
I can tell by the way you hold me darlin' Oooh
That it won't be long before it's cryin' time

The New Wetin You Carry

A couple of days ago, the Lagos State Commissioner of Police announced sanctimoniously ( shouldn’t that be remorsefully?) to the press that the Nigeria Police was scandalized and horrified that one of theirs was caught on video soliciting for a bribe of N25,000. He went on to say: “henceforth, any officer caught red-handed” will be dealt with in the same manner, if not harsher.

There you go, officers, don’t be caught red-handed! Do whatever it takes not to be caught red-handed!

Knowing When Not To Turn The Other Cheek

The other side

We’ve all heard the joke, “Why did the chicken cross the road?” Usually, what crosses the minds of people hearing the joke for the first time is that this is a trick question which requires a clever answer. They are often dumbfounded when their thought processes are interrupted and they are told that the simple answer is “TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE”.

Usually at this point, people go into overdrive and come up with several variations of the same answer or invent new ones – from risible to funny to absurd. And of course there will always be the mischievous individuals with dark, macabre sense of humour who will insist “the other side” refers to “the afterlife” thus, suggesting that the chicken crossed the road because it wanted to be crushed by a car!

We’ve all heard the question: “Why did the Lagos state government deposit 14 vagrants of Anambra origin in the State’s border, Onitsha?” Usually, what crosses the minds of people hearing the question for the first time is that this is a trick question which requires a clever answer. They are often dumbfounded when their thought processes are interrupted and they are told that the simple answer is “TO GET THE ANAMBRA GOVERNMENT TO TAKE THEM TO THE OTHER SIDE”.

Usually at this point, people go into overdrive and………. (FILL IN THE BLANKS or DRAW your own conclusions.)